They say love knows no boundaries, age, gender or nationalities. BelarusFeed decided to check how true this statement is and asked four Belarusian women about their relationship with foreigners.
Revealing the tips on how to win the heart of a Belarusian woman.
Don’t say ‘I’ instead of ‘we’
Katya is in a relationship with a German man for three years.
We met on a dating site and the first date was in a cafe in a relaxed atmosphere. He was easy to talk to and we were really getting along.
For me it is important that the partner knows how to do the talking, make funny jokes and make you feel being taken care of. Fortunately, for Germans it is natural to hold the door for a partner, move a chair, etc.
However, there are still some differences in our mentality. Like many other Belarusian women, I was used to a man paying the bill on dates, calling or writing first. In Germany, partners are equal in that regard and young men here expect girls to show interest, too.
Read also: 9 sweet facts about Belarusian women
There were some misunderstandings at first but then I adapted and it worked. For men in Germany, it is important to see that a woman also contributes to the relationship, and does not expect a man to do it alone.
When we just started dating, the biggest mistake of my partner was excessive individualism, pretty common for Germans. I also didn’t like it when he said ‘I’ instead of ‘we’.
He could do that when responding to invitations from friends or when making some plans without telling me about them. We talked about it a lot, and now he says that we are a “team” in any situation and he is always here for me.
An advice for foreign guys? Don’t give up too soon. Belarusian women may seem a bit cold and detached at first. Be patient and keep getting to know her gradually. Believe me, first impressions can be deceptive.
The mixture of our cultures is seen in the little things. As many other Belarusian girls, I really cared about what others think about me. For my partner, it didn’t mean a thing. Now it seems we reversed.
In Germany, I learned to be less spontaneous and started to love planning. And it’s not only because of my partner, but this is also how people live here.
There’s no strict distribution of roles in families, as in Belarusian families. He cooks (just like his father does in his family) and domestic duties are on both of us.
Don’t say ‘I love you’ too early
Olga, married to an Indian man for almost four years
Back in 2011, I went with a girlfriend on vacation to Goa, India, for two weeks. This trip changed my life. I fell in love with this country at first sight and when back home, started planning another trip.
This is when I joined a social media group on Goa, and Karan wrote to me. But our story started with his words: “Not every love story must end with marriage, just allow your feelings to come out and enjoy every moment, be happy.”
How to make an impression on Belarusian women on the first date?
There’s no universal answer. Some like flowers, others like candy. For me, it’s honesty, sincerity, and the ability to listen and support. Also, when meeting a Belarusian girl, don’t say “I love you” too early, it can only scare her away.
Talking about us, I can’t say that cultural differences interfered with our relationship. I immediately fell in love with the country, and then with the Indian man.
Of course, they changed us but the same things happen to people of the same culture.
Don’t assume she will throw herself at your feet
Irina, married to a Chinese man for two and a half years.
In an intercultural union, differences are usual. Although for us it’s not a problem. My husband is Chinese, his culture and traditions are absolutely different from the Slavic one.
Flexibility in our family is especially important, you should understand and embrace the differences, not fight them. We live in China, so I have to adapt more.
For instance, in terms of family traditions, parents and older relatives are especially honored here. All of them get together for holidays, help around the house, cook and have a family dinner. It took me time to get used to it and start loving it.
Was there any mistake my husband did when we started dating?
Can’t think of any. He is very discreet, he has seen a lot, he has lived abroad and accepts my culture. For instance, even though my husband is not religious, we baptized our son in Orthodoxy.
What a foreigner shouldn’t do when dating a Belarusian girl? Don’t behave as if you’re superior, don’t assume if you’re a foreigner she will throw herself at your feet.
In China, they don’t distinguish between Belarusian, Russian and Ukrainian girls. They are usually seen as beautiful, white-skinned, hardworking and unpretentious.
For us, the intercultural feature of our family is our advantage. Every day it affects our relationship, helps us, holds us together, makes us better understand each other, be more attentive, more flexible, more patient, take care of and respect what you have.
Don’t say bad things about her country
Natallia, married to a Portuguesе man for three years.
Like many couples nowadays we met on the internet. I loved that my husband didn’t rush into a romantic relationship. I can’t imagine being with someone who offered to cook me a dinner or make a neck massage on the first day we met.
I like when a relationship starts with friendship, when you have a good laugh together, share ideas and talk about life. It shows how both of you see the world and how you match each other.
The cultural differences that caused the biggest misunderstandings? For us, it was “I’m sulking and not talking to you!” thing. I think the whole concept of it is confusing for a western mentality. He is not writing, not calling… Does he even care about me? Turns out, my partner was just giving me time and respected my desire not to be talked to (exactly as I asked him to).
How to avoid pissing off a Belarusian bae?
Don’t be cynic, rude, be a gentleman, be respectful, don’t say bad things about her country. At least try to be delicate with your remarks. Be fun. Be caring. Take responsibility, that’s the one thing all Belarusian girls like.
How have we changed each other?
He discovered a new culture of amazing food, unique habits, and folk customs, learned some Russian and traveled a lot around Eastern Europe. I, on the other hand, learned his language, traveled around his country and got used to the fact that I should explain a lot to be understood.
Change is an everlasting process, we still have a lot to learn.
BelarusFeed thanks everyone who contributed to this article. Photos courtesy of heroes. Featured image by Belarusian Bagpipe Region